Repression, Repression



We sat on the greenest and tallest hill. “How long has Darpana Existed?”

“Ever since you were in High school.” he answered with a straw dangling from his mouth.

“Means this is not real, you said you’re not going to help me and here you are dropping hints.” I said without looking at him, I was too busy enjoying the ‘figments’ of my imaginations.

“That is still irrelevent, the reality bit, I mean.” he smiled, obnoxiously.

“If this is my dark side, what will my happy side be like. ” I was curious.

“You mean to say you don’t remember Her?” he spat the straw, feigning surprise I’d imagine.

“Who?” I was genuinely surprised.

“I hate repressed memories. ” he shrugged.


“Don’t you think having a knowledgable guide in my own imagined world a bit of a cliche?” I ask as we moved across one of the micro creek systems.

“The fodder for your imagination is self loathing and a ton of cliches so I am not entirely surprised.” he replied.

“You said something about a ‘Her’, pity I can’t remember.”

“Pity she can’t forget you. ” he answered.

I felt nothing. It was hard feeling anything when there was no memory to back up the whole discussion.

The two moons rose high into the starry sky. Their orbit was so wrong, in the real world I would expect them to fizzle out of orbit but this was my world, physics could take a back seat. The micro streams teamed with shimmering points of thousand colours. It was hard to say if they were fish or gemstones. I wanted to reach down and touch them but the thought of the fragility of my woven world kept me from doing so.  I noticed time ran faster, we had entered deep into the night in what seemed to be a few moments. It was like being stuck in a RPG being run on all the supercomputers of the world combined. The experience was overwhelming.

I was going to like Darpana a lot.



The forest was behind us and so was the reality I knew.

“You are a very unwise man. You didn’t even care to ask what my name was. So let me spare you the trouble. My name is Abid. You may be thinking that I am a figment of your imagination. Well the answer is that I may and I may not. You have had enough breaks from reality with out knowing in the past few days. I don’t expect you to arrive at the answer so soon and I am not going to help you with the answer either. ”

“Why are we here, wherever here is.” I asked, finally composure returned. It was surprising to know that despite being emotionally bland, fear still found a way to creep into my situations. I got the worst deal in the package.

“Are you listening? The answers to those questions await us here. And ‘here’ is called DARPANA. Remember the name of this place other wise the natives will mind.”

“Natives? We have natives?”

“Of course how can such a beautiful place be left uninhabited? That is downright unfair. Well this is Darpana. This is the city that manifests from your repressed side. It has created some of the most beautiful imagery possible. I wanted to bring you here to let you know what a beautiful mind that you have and what you have been missing out thanks to your whining.” He ended his speech as he pointed to the grassy green hills ahead of us. They reminded me a lot of the Chocolate Hills of the Philippines, only these were greener. “You may want to hold your breath for the things to come. ”

Most of me was in denial. A part of me was in a bliss. That part of me was obviously the creator of this universe. The sky was the bluest shade (of, well, blue) that I had ever seen. The undulating horizon with two fading moons and the impeding dusk caught my heart. I wanted to reach out to the sky and to get some of the brilliant blue on my hands. The green around me was superb, small creeks that spread like a network in between the micro valleys between the hills created the most serene piece of melody that I had ever heard.

“Did you notice? Tell me you noticed!” he smiled again. I was growing tired of his smiling face but I was too happy to notice that.

“What?” I turned back to ask.

“Tears! Did you notice that you’re crying?”

“Shut up!” I sobbed.